In Love and in Faith: A Husband Remembered

On Valentine’s Day, it is commonplace to celebrate young love, but we turn to one who has known love for several decades. Our member, Ms. S. Dutta, reminisces about her husband and what it takes to make a marriage last a lifetime.


I married my husband on 14th December 1959. Ours was an arranged marriage, and we remained happily married until his passing in 2021. When we got married, he was studying medicine. After graduating, he began teaching at Surendranath College. I remember how, after returning home from work, our firstborn would eagerly wait to play on his father’s lap. I believe our union stood the test of time because we had unwavering faith in each other. Throughout my years of teaching at Sarojini Naidu College for Women, and later at Vivekananda College, I would always hand over my monthly salary to my husband. I never once questioned how he spent it—I trusted him implicitly. I have always had the quality of surrender; I never prioritised my needs in the marriage, and my husband never betrayed my trust. He was a quiet, submissive man, but he could be firm when necessary, though he imposed his will subtly.

One evening, we attended a musical recital at the Sangeet Research Academy. It was past midnight when the performance ended, and we walked to the parking lot found our car locked with no sign of the driver. We waited for over half an hour until he finally returned with a stranger, who then rode beside him on our way home. My husband said nothing about the driver’s disappearance or the unexpected passenger. However, the next morning—on only the 6th or 7th of the month—he called the driver, paid him his full salary for the month, and dismissed him. To my astonishment, the very next day, he sold the car. I was surprised and slightly amused—I wondered why he had not consulted me. But I did not question him, believing he must have had his reasons. Such was my trust in him.

My husband was inscrutable in many ways. He kept to himself a lot. I loved traveling and would take my daughters all over the country, whereas he was never inclined to go anywhere. Only once did he accompany me on a 23-day tour of South India.

If he comes across as a man with no interests, I should mention that he was an avid tea lover. Whenever we had guests over and I asked if they would like tea, he would chide me, saying that such a thing should never be asked—a guest should be served tea as a matter of course.

I feel lucky to have been married to a man like my husband. It took deep understanding and devotion on both our parts to make our marriage work. Perhaps it was that—and faith—without which no loving relationship can truly endure.


(As narrated to Support Elders by our member)